


Lessons In Manners

by kyoselflove



Category: Dir en grey, the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Character Death, Crossdressing, F/M, M/M, Multi, Murder, Necrophilia, Suicide, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-02
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:26:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1303174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoselflove/pseuds/kyoselflove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 1807, Toshiya is the son of a wealthy family. He refuses to listen to anyone and does whatever he wants. Until, Kaoru his new teacher makes his arrival.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very dark fic, read at your own risk! xP

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and it was warm outside. The beginning of spring, flowers were blooming. The house, or rather mansion, sat beautifully at the top of the hill, with large gardens surrounding it. Where professional gardeners took care of it all. The mansion was at least four stories tall, with large windows placed through out the brick walls. 

Inside the house, the youngest member of the household yawned, as he just woke up. He pulled his rather large comforter with elegant designs on it off his body and slowly walked to his own luxurious bathroom where his servants had prepared him a hot bath.

As he sat in the bathtub he slowly cleansed himself with the expensive soap. He began humming while bathing his body. Today another man would come to teach him manners and obedience. Not looking forward to it at all he sighed. Finally done bathing, he stood out of the bath and grabbed the towel that had been placed for him. Slowly drying himself off, he wondered how quick his next mentor would run out of his home screaming that he was unreachable, a brat, and a spoiled brat at that. 

He dressed himself in a tight long sleeved black shirt, as the air still had a chill. And a nice fitting long black skirt with the patterns of white roses that had decorated it. Then he looked in the mirror, looking himself up and down. He was satisfied with the reflection so he continued with his routine.

Down stairs he quietly sat at the large dinning table waiting for his breakfast to be served. Then a plate was placed in front of him with a bowl of miso soup and a small serving of steamed rice. In a few moments the food was gone as he greedily ate it up.

In the distance he heard the sound of a carriage stopping in front of his home. He glanced out one of the large bay windows and saw an older shorter man step out.

His new mentor. 

Toshiya sighed in frustration. He didn’t want another man to come into his home and ‘teach’ him how to live. He was sick of it. This would probably be the 15th man; his mother had hired to do so. 

He left the dining table abruptly and headed towards his room; which the door he slammed shut. After locking the door, he sat at the end of his bed and let out a huff of anger.

Not even five minutes later he heard a knock at his door.

“Dear, there is someone here to see you!” His mother’s chipper voice was heard through the wood door.

“Oh really? Why wont you kindly tell him to fuck off!” Toshiya screamed from his gorgeous king sized bed.

“Toshimasa don’t you dare use that language! Now open this door at once!” His mother said more sternly. 

In defeat, the boy walked slowly to his door unlocking it, he opened it for his mother and so called guest to walk in.

He stood there looking at the rather handsome elder man and his mother, with an apathetic look on his face.

“Hello, Toshimasa. I am Kaoru. I am here to teach you the basics of etiquette.” The shorter man said with a pleasant smile, along with a bow.

Toshiya just stared at the man with an annoyed look on his face. No man could ever teach him how to behave ‘properly’ so they put it. 

“Toshimasa!” His mother screeched.

Reluctantly, Toshiya bowed to his now new mentor with a fake smile.

“Hello Sir Kaoru, I am Toshiya, son of Yoshiki Hara and the lovely Ayu Hara.”

Kaoru just bowed in acknowledgement. “It is nice to finally meet you, your grace.”

There was a hint of blush on Toshiya’s face at his words. The taller man didn’t know why, but he felt this man was different from the rest. First he was very attractive, which the others were defiantly not. Plus his smile just made Toshiya melt inside, but of course he would not let that stop him from being who he was; A spoiled rather beautiful rich brat.

His mother left quietly, shutting the door. Toshiya just stared at his new teacher, Kaoru. There were a few moments of silence that was getting rather uncomfortable.

“So, are you here to cure me?” Toshiya said with a sexy smile.

“I don’t know about curing, but I am here to help you, yes.” Kaoru just simply replied with a sweet smile.

“Ha! As if old man, no one can possibly change me!” The spoiled brat replied with a laugh.

Kaoru just shook his head, “I will be residing down the hall in the first guest room. I will see you at dinner. Until then, I bid you farewell.” And with that he bowed and silently left the room.

 

\-------

 

At the dinner table sat, Toshiya, his mother and Kaoru. Of course his father was gone again on some business trip. The boy just picked at his rather bland meat dinner with disgust. He had no appetite, he wanted to be left alone, and plus he wanted sex. Badly. 

“Sorry Mr. Hara couldn’t join us tonight.” Toshiya’s mother commented.

“No worries, mam. I am sure I will meet him in time.” Kaoru replied.

However, Toshiya was glaring at his mother. He wished she would just go away with his father. She annoyed him beyond belief and was always in his business.

“This meal is delicious!” Kaoru exclaimed.

“Oh thank you dear, but I must say it was all Haukei and Kyo’s cooking.” She said with a smile.

Kaoru just nodded in acknowledgement. The man looked towards Toshiya’s direction and noticed his odd behavior. 

“Toshiya, how are you feeling?” He said towards the boy with concern.

“Fine!” He said angrily leaving the table and stomping out of the room.

“Toshimasa, I did not say you could be excused!” His mother screamed after him.

\-------

 

Toshiya was still not convinced this guy could change his ways to his mother’s liking. 

“Now what?” He said to himself.

He was bored and wanted entertainment. It had been a few hours after dinner; thankfully no one had bothered him. He ran out of his room towards the servant’s hall. Stomping through the halls he stopped at a familiar door. It was Haukei’s door, he was one the cooking servants. 

With a knock, the door opened revealing a handsome mid aged man with long blonde hair.

Toshiya put his lustful smile on his face and said, “Hey baby, I am bored. I have a new teacher today and he has also made me very mad. Will you help me release my anger?”

Haukei just let the black haired man through to his room. Toshiya sat at the end of his servant’s bed waiting. 

The servant quickly lowered himself on his knees at the end of the bed. He lifted up Toshiya’s beautiful skirt, searching for the other’s length. When he had finally found it, he began slowly sucking at the tip. Which made Toshiya stifle a moan. 

The servant continued to suck Toshiya’s length until moments later he had released his seed in the others mouth.

“Thank you, Haukei, it is always a pleasure!” Toshiya did a fake smile while readying himself to walk out the door. Haukei didn’t say a word, he just watched as Toshiya walked out his door.

\-------

The next day Toshiya was simply laying in the large day room when his mentor came into the room. He looked up at the other man, with an annoyed look on his face. He looked the other way towards the garden through the large windows. 

“So shall we start with a lesson?” Kaoru said while looking at his new student as he steadily sat next to the younger one.

Toshiya just stared at his teacher with wide eyes in disbelief. Did this guy actually think he could help him? 

“What lesson? As far as I am concerned you should already be out the door.” Toshiya replied with a smirk. 

“I am afraid that I will not leave you that easily, Toshimasa.” The elder said with a glare.

Toshiya was dumbfounded. For once he did not have a smart reply to come back with. So this man was actually serious about his job.

The boy just nodded. Nothing else could escape his lips. 

“Well then, shall we begin?” Kaoru said with a smile.

As if he were in a trance, Toshiya just nodded once again.


	2. Chapter Two

It was already nightfall, but Toshiya couldn’t fall into a slumber. He threw the quilt off his body in frustration. While still laying down in bed he banged his legs on the bed to release some anger.

“Arg! I hate him!!!” Toshiya screamed into one of his pillows.

Grabbing a gas lantern next to his bed, he headed out his room down the endless halls. The light from the lantern gave off a small glow of light a few feet in front of him. Silently he approached the first guess room, where Kaoru was currently residing. There was a flicker of light underneath the doorframe, so his mentor was still awake at this late hour.

Leaning his ear slightly on the door, he tried to hear what Kaoru was doing. Failing at ease dropping, he leaned on the wooden door to heavily as it caved in, leaving a startled Toshiya on the floor of his teacher’s room. Thankfully his lantern landed just right so it would not catch fire. He lifted his eyes only to meet the other man’s.

Kaoru looked up from the desk where he had been writing his notes, to see a now a disoriented Toshiya laying on his floor.

“Well hello there.” Kaoru said with a smile on his face.

The younger man quickly got off of the floor and dusted off his long cotton nightgown with a blush to his cheeks. The lantern left forgotten, he walked towards his teacher with a weak smile on his face.

“I want you out.”

“I already told you I am not going anywhere.”

“Why do you want to teach me so bad? How much is my mother paying you?”

“Money is no matter.” Kaoru stated.

“You are trying to tell me you actually enjoy putting up with me?” He laughed.

The older man was just staring at him intently. Toshiya took the time to actually look at the handsome man. Kaoru had high cheekbones, mid length brown hair, and a sexy goatee. The man was turning him on by the minute. The said man cleared his throat taking him out of his trance. 

“Goodnight Toshiya.”

With that, the boy turned towards the door grabbing his lantern off the floor; he headed back to his bedroom.

The next morning Toshiya went through his daily routine then found himself at the small table in his room looking for paper and a quill pen. He felt the need to write in his journal about last night. The image of Kaoru still had not left his mind. He did not know what he felt towards the man, but he was determined it was simply lust.

The knock on his door disturbed his thoughts; he gently put down the quill and walked to the door. Opening it, he was not shocked to find Kaoru himself.

“Good Evening, Toshiya. Shall we begin?”

Toshiya just nodded walking over to sit on his bed, while the other man sat on the chair by his desk.

“First, for the sake of your mother and family name, stop with the inappropriate dialogue.”

“Like saying, fuck.” Toshiya said with a smirk.

“Precisely. It is rude and looked down upon.” Kaoru replied with a straight face.

“I do not see a point to this lesson, for I never leave this house and socialize. And I could care less of what my fucking mother thinks. Plus what does a family name mean to me? Nothing.”

“I understand. Even though, please just follow my lessons. They are for your best interest.”

This man has no idea what life is like for Toshiya. He probably is poor, which is why he is taking on teaching such useless topics? Even though, the boy just nodded and cooperated with him so maybe he could get closer to his mentor. It could be fun messing with him. Although no one denied Toshiya’s flirting, he had always tried it on his teachers to see if they would run away, like usual.

Rising off the bed he slowly walked towards his teacher swaying his hips. Then he placed his hand on the top of Kaoru’s trousers rubbing the spot lightly. The older man stared at him with the same emotionless face while removing Toshiya’s hand with force.

“That is also non-acceptable behavior.” His mentor said with a harsh tone.

Toshiya backed off, a little startled. This man was serious he was not going anywhere. 

“Well, that did not have any effect.” Toshiya said.

“You can simply speak without adding such offensive words, try it.” Kaoru said ignoring what had happened completely.

“Like, ‘my mother is annoying’ instead of ‘my mother is fucking annoying’? I kind of like the fucking part.” He said with a smirk.

Kaoru sighed. “Toshiya please.”

“Fine. I understand. Next.”

“Maybe we should work on your sexual orientation.” 

“My sexual orientation? You mean the fact that I favor cock over pussy?” He said with a smile gracing his face.

Rubbing his nose underneath his eyeglasses, he sighed again before continuing. “You do know that life is unnatural. Your mother wishes you to marry Noriko Matsamoto of Nangano, a very beautiful young woman.”

The boy just laughed. He thought his mentor was supposed to teach him manners, not who he should be fucking. 

“I am sorry Sensei Kaoru but, that is not going to change.” He said with a stern voice.

“Maybe a later lesson, how about we talk about the way you treat others; like your mother.”

“What about it?”

“Well, it is inappropriate.”

“Is that your favorite word?”

“Toshiya, stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop contradicting every word I say.”

“Whatever, I am tired I would like to have a rest, sir.” Toshiya emphasized the last word.

“Very well. Hopefully tomorrow we can make more progress. It all takes dear time.” Kaoru said then took his leave.

Toshiya lay on his bed with many thoughts. He thought of how Kaoru looked, all serious and professional. Without even realizing it a hand had slipped down his simple trousers. He gently rubbed his member underneath his under garments. Letting out a small moan from the young man. His free hand grasping the cotton sheets next to him for some relieving comfort as if there was someone to grab onto. Slowly he began stroking his dick up and down. His pace became more rapid, earning a louder moan from his plush lips. The thought of Kaoru passes through his mind, earning a few more hard strokes. 

A few moments later Toshiya spilt his seed in his hand. Panting, he got off the bed walking to his bathroom. He rinsed his hands with water and soap to erase the remains of his semen.

He looked at himself at the mirror, sighing. 

“What the fuck.” He said to himself.


	3. Chapter Three

Outside was getting colder; fall was at its end with winter approaching. Toshiya shuddered at the draft going through his room and bundled himself in blankets by the fireplace in his spacious room. The cold air made him feel like not doing anything all day but just sitting by the fire.

Then of course a knock at his door once again made his comfortable mood disappear. With a creak the door opened slowly revealing a tall blonde haired man with a feminine face. 

“Sir would you like me to put more wood on the fire?” The man said. He must be a new servant; Toshiya had not seen him before. Toshiya nodded lazily as he watched the man carrying a basket of fresh cut wood sit on the floor.

Toshiya sat there observing the man before him, he noticed a fairly large bruise under the others eye that had been hidden behind his long blonde locks.

“Where did you get that bruise from?” Toshiya said bluntly.

The man was shocked, a little taken back; he just mumbled some incoherent excuse that Toshiya knew was a lie. Letting out a huff of air, Toshiya just stared at the other.

“Whatever, what is your name anyway?”

“Its…Takashima Kouyou.” The servant whispered, still busy putting more wood on the fire.

“The fire should last for another hour, sir.” Kouyou stood up, bowed, and then started to take his leave.

Toshiya stood up abruptly which caused Kouyou to bow at his master.

“Thank you.” Slipped from his mouth, he mentally smacked himself for being polite to a servant. 

The other man just smiled taking his leave. As the man walked out the door, Toshiya saw the man from his dreams standing there, Kaoru.

“Impressive, have you ever uttered those words?” He said his lips curled into a small smile. 

“Shut it! Have some respect for me!” Toshiya said with a smile.

“My apologies, would you care to go for a walk?” He extended his hand.

Toshiya took the older man’s hand and walked with him. They were just walking the top level of the mansion in silence.

“Is this what you do with your life? Go town to town looking for a brat to be taught a lesson?” Toshiya said breaking the silence regretfully letting go of the other man’s hand. 

“I do, I must take care of my family. The pay of teaching is decent enough.” Kaoru carried a solemn look on his face.

“Family?” Toshiya said puzzlingly.

“Yes, family. My wife, brothers, and children.”

Toshiya’s heart ached at the other man’s words. Family. He did not know what a family was. His mother was constantly trying to make whatever she wanted happen. His father was gone six months of the year to tend to ‘business’, he really had no clue what his father did for a living, nor did he care. There was no one for him; he was alone. Maybe the thought of Kaoru simply wanting to help him, made Toshiya admire the man.

The fact that the older man had a wife plus children also hurt. He wanted to be with his teacher. In a different world perhaps, he was 16, his mentor 42; married, also both male. 

“Toshiya?” Kaoru was staring at him with a concerned look.

He must have spaced out for to long, “Sorry. Well, I hope my mother pays you a good amount.” 

“No worry. Are you alright?”

“Just fine.” It was then when Toshiya realized that they had already walked back to the door of his room.

“I guess this is me.” Toshiya said with a weak smile, opening the door.

“I am proud of you, being grateful of others is a big step for you.” Kaoru voiced loudly smiling.

“Thank you.” With that he shut the door, falling to the floor he quietly sobbed.

 

Walking into the kitchen, he searched for Haukei. Finding the man, Toshiya looked at him as he was preparing tonight’s meal. Haukei looked up giving the look Toshiya hated. Not now. It was easy for the younger to read his mind or looks. The cook has never spoken a word his whole life. 

Toshiya sighed in aggravation leaving the kitchen in a hurry. He decided to go take a walk in the garden to cool off. He sat on a bench in the middle of the garden, surrounded by trees and flowers, he felt at peace. Then quietly, he heard someone crying. Following the sounds deep in the garden he was sighted with Kouyou crying on the grass. 

“Why are you crying?” He said to the other a little to harsh, considering his mood.

Kouyou quickly stood up bowing while uttering apologies. 

“You really do not have to bow every time you see me.” Toshiya said softly.

The other smiled, his face illuminated by the moonlight. At 19 hours, the sun was long gone considering the new season coming.

“I am truly sorry sir, what should I assist you in?” Kouyou’s voice was shaking.

“Depends on what you mean.” Toshiya said smiling as he trailed a finger down Kouyou’s peasant shirt.

Now Kouyou was visibly shaking out of fear, or maybe something else. Toshiya leaned into the other kissing him lightly on the lips. Moving back, he witnessed Kouyou touching his lips with a confused look on his face.

He simply left the other man heading towards the dinning hall. Leaving a scared shaking servant behind with no remorse. He was a new servant after all, he could not corrupt him yet.

 

For whatever reason, his mother could not attend to dinner. At the table it was just he and Kaoru, with another twelve empty chairs. They were currently eating a fancy fish with assorted vegetables, one of Toshiya’s favorite dishes. By the look on Kaoru’s face he must of loved it also.

Toshiya stopped eating his food, he felt a stare on him. Looking up, Kaoru was staring at him while shaking his head.

“Tomorrow, I shall teach you how to eat properly at the dinner table.” He said with a slight laugh.

“What is wrong with how I eat my food?” Toshiya said with his mouth full.

“That right there. Do not speak with food in your mouth.”

“Why?”

“It is simply, not pleasing to look at while I am also eating.”

“Why? Its just food that is chewed up.”

“Here. You see how nasty it is?” Kaoru was talking with a large amount of food in his mouth.

Toshiya chuckled. “I think it just makes you look funny.”

Kaoru smiled, swallowing his food. A smile graced Toshiya’s features as well.

“Tell me, why is it so important to be proper, polite, blah blah.” Toshiya said still with a light laugh.

“You fit into civilization better, I suppose.” Kaoru stated.

“I am not sure that I will ever fit into civilization.” 

“You never know. Things change.” 

“I know.” Toshiya said.

“This is a marvelous meal, the cooks here are very well talented.”

“Yes, but I am off to bed, goodnight Kaoru.”

“Goodnight.” The other simply said.

Toshiya left the table excusing himself, to make his mentor proud. When he walked into his bedroom the fire was at large. He plopped onto his bed, running the last weeks events through his mind. 

He had a sexy new teacher who was the most serious man he had ever met, but tonight he actually laughed. Toshiya was amazed Kaoru could do such a thing, but the man was also married with children, which still tugged at Toshiya’s heart.

There was a new beautiful servant that he was almost jealous of his beauty. The blonde servant had visible bruises on his skin, cried, and was quiet.

Looking at the ceiling, Toshiya muttered to himself, “I am in love with a man who is married with children!” 

Once again he found himself screaming in frustration to his dear pillows.


	4. Chapter Four

In the garden he found Kai, he was the main keeper of the mazes of shrubs. Toshiya approached him, “Do you know of the servant Kouyou?”

Kai lifted his gaze from the dirt he was digging to answer. “Yes, he came to work here just last week.”

“Oh, well do you know where I would find him?”

Raising an eyebrow Kai told him that Kouyou resided in the stables.

“The stables? Then why was he bringing wood to my bedroom?”

“Maybe he was the only one that volunteered to do so, not everyone here thinks kindly of you Toshiya.”

His words made the younger one aggravated. The fact that his very own servants wished not to see him or do their duties was unbelievable. 

“Thank you for your time Kai.” Toshiya said with a smile, which left Kai speechless. 

The walk to the stables was fairly long, they resided an acre away from the mansion. As he approached, he saw Kouyou stacking hay in the barn. Just watching from a distance he had noticed the miserable look on the other man’s face. The bruise on his face was now a pale yellow, almost blending in with the other’s skin.

“Kouyou.” Toshiya called out to him, startling the tall blonde.

“Toshimasa!” He quickly bowed. 

Toshiya walked up to the other so their faces were inches away. “Again I ask you, how did you receive that bruise?”

“I do not need to bother you with my problems, master.” Kouyou said hiding his face while busing with work.

“I insist.”

Kouyou looked a little bit hesitant then nodded. “A friend of mine and I got into a fight.”

Toshiya left it at that, sensing the man’s discomfort. 

“I need to get back to work, sir.” Kouyou said silently.

“Very well.” Toshiya said, leaving heading back to his home.

\---------------

 

Passing through the halls, he walks towards Kaoru’s door giving it a knock. There was no answer; he began to walk away from the door when it opened, revealing a tired looking Kaoru.

“Are you alright?” Toshiya asked looking at the man.

“Fine, what are you doing here at this hour, it is almost the 21st hour.” Kaoru said sleepily.

“I was hoping for a lesson.” He replied with a smile.

“And why the sudden interest this late?” Kaoru replied with a shameless smile.

Toshiya was stunned as if in that moment the other man was flirting with him. “I cannot seem to sleep.” He said beaming to the elder.

“Well, I suppose you can come in.” The other man opened the door allowing Toshiya in his sanctuary, his room. Looking around, he noticed the room was rather plain. There were a few suitcases in one of the corners of the room. Rested in the middle of the room was a small full size bed, then simply a desk right across from it.

“I want to learn how to be more polite with my servants.” Toshiya blurted out. Hoping to gain the trust of Kouyou was on his mind. 

“I have never had servants, but I would assume you treat them like people, not property.” Kaoru said strictly. 

“Until you came they were nothing but mere objects. But I have a curiosity about one, and would like to know him better.” Toshiya snapped.

“I am sorry to hear that, though I am glad I have made a significant impact on you.” Kaoru growled. 

“Just fucking help me!” Toshiya suddenly screamed.

A little taken back Kaoru unconsciously moved a few steps back.

“I am sorry.” Toshiya said with a distressing face.

In that moment what the older man did made him freeze all movements and thoughts. Kaoru stepped close between them and cupped the side of his right cheek with his hand, rubbing it softly.

“That is why I am here Toshimasa Hara.” And with that the hand was gone. Toshiya was in shock; he wanted the man to feel him more.

“Do not call me that.” Toshiya looked away.

“Maybe it is time to rest Toshiya.” Kaoru declared.

His still did not face the other man, while a tear slid down his cheek. Quickly he wiped it away with his long sleeved shirt. But he could not hide the sniffle that had escaped.

“Toshiya, what is wrong?” Kaoru said dearly. The man took one of his hands in his, stroking it softly. Once again Toshiya was frozen, he did not know what to expect from Kaoru’s touches, were they flirtatious or just friendly.

Toshiya took this opportunity to take an action; he took Kaoru’s hand gently placing it on his chest letting out a small sound of excitement. Then he moaned when Kaoru moved his hand down to his waist rubbing it softly while still looking at him in the eyes.

Moving closer so his head was resting on the elder man’s shoulder, Toshiya slowly raised his hips into the other, earning a loud moan from them both. Kaoru was just slightly out of breath as they slowly were grinding against each other more rapidly, feeling both of their erect members rubbing together. Being still clothed, Toshiya felt as though he could orgasm any minute, his thoughts were erupted as Kaoru jerked away unexpectedly. 

Toshiya was now panting wanting more, but the look in Kaoru’s eyes was of a different matter, it looked as though there was rage on his handsome face.

“Please leave, now” Kaoru huffed out. 

“But-” Toshiya began.

“Now!” Kaoru said with a loud ruthless tone.

Quickly he ran out of his mentor’s door heading straight to his bedroom. Once he reached his bed he flopped on it. Again in agony he began to cry silently.

 

\------

 

The next morning he lay in bed, he had countless knocks on his door but he ignored them all. He was embarrassed, there was something between Kaoru and him, but the other man chose to ignore it all like it was nothing. Looking at the door, Toshiya imagined that Kaoru would come through, hop on his bed and make mad love to him. But of course that would surely never happen. Today’s lesson would surely be missed.

Toshiya just sighed, rolling himself back into his blanket finding sleep once again, where his dreams made him happy, where love was love; nor did age or sex matter, it was just love. 

Then there was a rather persistent knock at his door. Sighing, he got off his bed sluggishly walking towards his door opening it, only to reveal Kouyou. A smile formed on his face at the sight of the man. 

“I believe you need more...wood…on your…fire.” The man was clearly stuttering every word just about. Which made Toshiya smile even more.

“I believe I do.” Toshiya said carefully watching the other man pile on more wood.

He slowly sat on his knees to be down at Kouyou’s level, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. 

“I am so lonely.” Toshiya said in his most seductive voice.

He felt the blonde man shudder underneath his grasp. Leaning in, he began to sensually kiss down the other man’s neck, which caused more shakes from Kouyou. The hand on the man’s waist slipped underneath his cheap peasant pants finding his member quickly, he began stroking it. Toshiya looked at Kouyou’s face, which was illuminated by the fire, intensifying the pleasure on his face. As his mouth moved into an oval shape while letting a soft quiet moan, Toshiya groaned in pleasure at the sight.

In a sudden movement he pushed Kouyou on the hard wood floor on his back lying right next to the large fireplace. Still stroking the other’s length he straddled himself on top. Almost roughly he began prodding the blonde man with his tongue against his mouth, begging for entrance, which he finally received. Kouyou let out loud moan, which was muffled into Toshiya’s mouth. He removed his hand from the other’s pants in a swift movement; he began thrusting against the other through the fabrics of their clothes.

“Ah, master!” Kouyou moaned.

“Fuck me.” Toshiya then commanded, he needed sex and Kaoru was certainly not giving it to him.

Kouyou had an unsure look on his face but slowly he began discarding his clothing. Lying completely naked underneath Toshiya, he stripped him of his shirt and tight pants. Leaving Kouyou naked on the hard floor, and a very naked Toshiya on top of him. Toshiya moved down the other’s body meeting his lips at the man’s cock. He coated Kouyou’s member with a thick layer of saliva, satisfied enough he took the dick out his mouth moving back up to the man giving him a kiss. While kissing Kouyou sensually, he lowered himself on the blonde man’s member in one rapid movement. 

Toshiya moaned loudly then began moving up and down on the other. Fixing a slow rhythm for them both to enjoy. He felt Kouyou’s hips push towards him harshly, which hit his prostate, earning a scream of pleasure from Toshiya’s lips.

“Oh god, fuck yes.” Toshiya was murmuring out of breath as their pace became quicker. 

Suddenly, he felt Kouyou jerk hard on his prostate causing him to clench his inner walls around the other man in orgasm. Which then led to the blonde man releasing deep inside of him.

After they both rode out their orgasm, Toshiya looked towards Kouyou and said, “Sleep with me tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE Uruha/Toshiya!


	5. Chapter Five

Stretching his arms in his plush bed while waking up, Toshiya hit an unfamiliar object. Opening his eyes, he saw Kouyou sleeping soundlessly next to him. For a few moments he just stared at the man. It must be at least noon by now. He yawned rather loudly, but still not disturbing the blonde. Taking the quilt off of him, he stepped out of bed standing. 

Realizing his was still naked he went over to his wardrobe to find a silk robe. He turned back to the bed; the other man was still sleeping. Then there was a knock at his door.

Trotting across the room he went to the door, opening just enough so whoever was beyond it could not see Kouyou sleeping on the bed; naked. Toshiya’s face dropped suddenly when he saw his teacher staring down at him nervously.

“You know what time it is?” Kaoru asked.

“Hmm, almost dinner time?” Toshiya said with a small smile.

“I thought you wanted a lesson.”

“Not today, I am busy.” Toshiya said seriously. 

He was about to shut the door when Kaoru stopped him by slamming his palm on the doorframe, causing it to open all the way. The elder man was in surprise when he obviously saw Kouyou lying in his bed, the comforter only shielding half of his naked body.

“What did you do?” Kaoru said in shock.

“What do you think?” Toshiya said with a grin.

“I am not sure what to think.”

“Well, obviously I had sex Kaoru.”

“You know that this lifestyle is not right.” Kaoru said with a harsh tone.

“And who made you have the decisions to know what is right!” The younger man screamed. Which had stirred Kouyou in his sleep.

Toshiya looked back at the man in his bed, who was still sleeping, then looking back to Kaoru.

“I wish you had never came here, you are ruining my life! Making me be polite and eat properly. Who the fuck cares how someone eats? What does it matter? You are nothing but a low life piece of shit and-“  
Toshiya was caught off of his ranting when he felt soft lips touching his own, with the slight feel of the other man’s goatee brushing against his chin. The feel of Kaoru’s coarse hands was once again on his face, stroking it gently. His teacher actually took the initiative, pushing his tongue through the younger one’s man mouth.

While kissing, he looked into Kaoru’s eyes that were looking past him, as if watching the man sleeping on his bed. Not trying to ruin the moment Toshiya pushed the man out into the hall while shutting his door, both still locked at the lips.

Only a few seconds later Kaoru broke the kiss, a little pant coming from him. The other man took a few feet away from him straightening his outfit and hair.

“I can not do this! Not again.” Kaoru was rambling, before running down the halls leaving Toshiya alone outside his room.

“Again?” Toshiya whispered to himself questioning if Kaoru did indeed have an affair with a man before.

In a sudden daze, Toshiya opened the door to his room. Kouyou was now sitting up in the bed with a slight smile on his face, which he quickly hide when the black haired man walked in. Feeling a little depressed Toshiya dived into the bed next to Kouyou letting out a scream. Kouyou was a little startled, but he visibly showed at ease when Toshiya wrapped his arms around him.

“Will you be my friend?” Toshiya asked with a hopeful smile, acting a little childish.

Kouyou looked towards him with a smile, “Of course.” The man hugged Toshiya with a beautiful smile.

“Now that we are friends, you have to tell me the truth.”

“Really?”

“Really. Now about your bruise.”

“My father…. says I do not work hard enough for your family. Really it is nothing his just loves to drink the sprits to much.”

“Your father hit you?”

“…Yes.” 

“Obviously, he is just an asshole.” Toshiya said with a smile changing the mood.

Earning a smile back from Kouyou, who also laughed a little.

“I hope you do not take last night to heart. I do like you, but my heart is set else where.”

Kouyou just nodded feeling comfortable around the other, “As is mine.” He smiled.

“It is Kaoru, right?” Kouyou said in his usual quiet voice.

Toshiya hummed a yes in response, and then he remembered just a while ago, the man of his dreams was kissing him, but what happened after the kiss is what made Toshiya sadden his expression. 

“He wants nothing to do with me, plus what does it matter! He has a wife and children after all.”

“But you love him, that matters. I think he feels the same for you.” Kouyou continued on.

“Ha! There is no way he could love me.” Toshiya said softly lowering his head.

“What about you and him just kissing in the hallway a few moments ago? What was that?”

Toshiya looked back up, he had not known Kouyou saw that moment of paradise. 

“I have no clue.” Toshiya did not know what to think anymore. His life recently was a drastic change from before. He befriended a servant whom he had sex with. In love with his teacher who obviously had some feelings for him, did not help the situation. All these changes were because of Kaoru. He pondered whether or not his mentor truly did have feelings for him.

“I understand.” Kouyou said touching his shoulder.

“Understand what?” 

“I love a man, but he also plays the whole perfect life scheme, with a wife and all. But I know he loves me, and soon he will come around.” Kouyou replied with a bashful smile.

At that moment he brushed the back of his hand on the other’s face. Giving a light kiss on the lips on him as well. “Thank you.” 

“Thank you Toshiya, you really are a great person despite what people say.” Kouyou said glowing with a smile. 

“I doubt that! I am a bitch, I believe my mother reminds me of that almost every week.” Toshiya laughed, but took the other’s compliment to heart.

Kouyou gave him a tight hug, along with a smile, before heading off the bed gathering his clothes. “I need to go back to work. I have missed so much already.”

“Do not work to hard.” Toshiya said as Kouyou quietly said goodbye before heading out the door.

Lying on his back on the large bed, Toshiya stretched while thinking about how to approach Kaoru. He needed answers; the man evidently wanted him after all.


	6. Chapter Six

Before dinner, Toshiya went into Kaoru’s room without knocking. The other man was writing in his journal which he quickly shut seeing Toshiya. 

“I want a lesson to be kind to others.” Toshiya said with a chipper voice.

“Well, first of all you do not barge into someone’s room. If you had actually knocked I would have opened it, then we would both bow.”

“Why should I bow, I am the royal here.”

“It is out of respect, no matter who you are.” Kaoru said firmly.

Toshiya walked out the door shutting it, and then he gently knocked on the door. He could here Kaoru laugh on the other side but nonetheless he opened it. Toshiya bowed, as did the other man.

“Was that better?” Toshiya said with a smile.

“Yes, very. Shall we go to dinner?”

Toshiya nodded as they both headed to the dinning hall hand in hand.

 

Most of their dinner was eaten in silence; Toshiya was getting annoyed with the fact of Kaoru avoiding any subject that had to do with them. He wondered why Kaoru would kiss him then run away, then come back acting normal as if nothing ever happened.

Toshiya drank the last drop of his miso soup, since it was polite to eat every last piece of a meal he learned. When he was done, Kaoru had excused himself to go to his room. Being thoughtful, Toshiya brought the empty food containers to the kitchen. He placed them on a table in the middle of the room.

On the left side were two brick stone ovens and currently Kyo cleaning up the mess from the dinner. The room was divided down the middle with shelves filled with ingredients and pots. The right side held a wall of skinned cows hanging from the ceiling, with a table underneath them covered in blood, waiting to be chopped then go into the icebox.

He felt a little sick then turned to leave until a hand grabbed his arm harshly. It belonged to Haukei with a horrifying glare. 

“Haukei let me go!” Toshiya screamed, he searched for Kyo but the short man was already gone.

A punch landed on his face, which brought him to a daze. Next thing he knows he is lying down on a table. He looked up, the cows were above him, and he felt drips of blood on his face and screamed.

Haukei placed himself over him, running his hands under Toshiya’s blue dress that he had decided to put on in the afternoon, searching for his undergarments, which he easily ripped. Earning another terrifying scream from Toshiya. 

His screams only got louder as he felt Haukei thrust into him, ripping his insides. Blood was dripping into his mouth; he turned his head to the side crying as he could feel more of the red substance drop in his ear. All of it was too much; he vomited on the side of the table next to him. The complete dinner he had early was now in a pile of stomach acid close to his face, along with blood dripping down over him. His body tried to vomit again only to receive dry heaves.

Haukei’s brutal thrusts suddenly stopped, causing Toshiya to look at the other. The man’s face was frozen then he collapsed on the younger one. Toshiya could now see a rather large knife sticking out of his back, causing him to yet again scream.

“Whatever you did to piss him off, I do not care. You piss me off all the time, and I pretty much hate you. But what he just did to you was pretty fucked up. He had it coming.” Toshiya was shaking feverishly as he just looked at Kyo. The shorter man peeled Haukei’s body off of him, earning a wince from him as the dead man’s member slid out of his entrance. Then he dragged the body out of the kitchen, leaving Toshiya completely stunned.

He slowly got off the table and sat on the floor, crying. He vaguely heard someone scream his name before seeing black.

 

Someone was carrying him, and then he felt warm bath water as he was lowered into the tub. He opened his eyes to see Kaoru looking at him with worry. The other man had a wet cloth wiping his face gently. He was about to look at the bath water when a hand tilted his chin to look at Kaoru.

“No, do not look.” The other man said in a whisper. Obviously, the bath water was probably red with all the blood, earning a shudder from the younger man.

“It is going to be okay, I am here.” Kaoru said while cupping his cheeks placing a gently kiss on his lips. Toshiya took the chance to actually get some answers, and also his mind of the pain.

“Who was he?” Toshiya silently uttered.

“Who was who?”

“The man you were with before…” Toshiya said his eyes never leaving the other man’s face.

Kaoru was quiet for a little while continuing to bath Toshiya’s battered body. Then he stopped for a moment and replied.

“I was your age, you remind me of him. Care free, beautiful.” His teacher tranquilly said as he stroked Toshiya’s face.

“What happened?”

“He came down with an fatal illness, and died at the age of twenty. I was there when he took his last breath, he told me he loved me and wished me well. I never told him I loved him.” A tear slid down Kaoru’s face, making Toshiya’s heart ache.

“What was his name?”

“Miyabi. I tried to move on and bury everything. But here you are stirring up old feelings.” The older man said with a heartrending smile.

Toshiya just smiled although he was also exhausted, and a little depressed. Kaoru leaned in kissing him on the lips, and then he walked out of the bathroom.

At the moment Toshiya looked down to the bath water, it was indeed tinged red from the blood. He was frightened Kaoru had left him. Suddenly the door opened revealing Kouyou and Kaoru.

“Kouyou is going to dry you off, dress you and take care of the bath. I will be out here waiting for you.” 

Toshiya smiled, and obeyed as Kouyou helped him out of the tub gently, drying him off. He slid a silk robe over Toshiya fragile frame then told him to go to Kaoru.

Kaoru was sitting on his large bed when he walked in. Gently Toshiya made his way to the bed and lie down. 

“Stay with me tonight.” Toshiya pleaded with the other man.

“Of course.” Was all he said, as he lie down next to Toshiya holding him tightly in his arms, before they drifted to sleep together.


	7. Chapter Seven

The next morning, Toshiya had trouble opening his eyes as he was engulfed with warmth. He turned his head to the right to see Kaoru sleeping peacefully next to him. Toshiya shifted a little to face him, which he then hissed in pain as he felt the outcome of yesterday’s events. The man next to him slowly opened his eyes, as the younger one was stroking his face tenderly.

“Good morning.” Kaoru said gracing a smile on his face.

“It is, waking up next to you.” The reply earned the elder to blush.

“How are you, physically?”

“Fucking sore.” Toshiya said with a laugh despite the situation.

“And mentally?” 

“I suppose I am still sane.” 

Kaoru smiled then hugged the other tightly. Toshiya enjoyed every second of the embrace. Then the man’s arms were gone as he was getting off the bed.

“Well, we should get up.”

“Do we have too?” Toshiya whined.

His mentor nodded his head, Toshiya went to get out of bed but stopped with a sharp pain went up his backside. He let out a small cry of pain. Kaoru quickly ran to him laying him gently back in bed.

“Maybe, you should stay in bed.” Kaoru said concerned. Toshiya nodded in response.

“I will have Kouyou bring you breakfast in bed.” And with that his teacher was out the door.

 

 

After eating his breakfast, Toshiya just laid in bed for what it seemed hours. Then he heard the sound of a carriage outside; he wished he could move from the bed to look out the window to see who it was. He heard voices, one that seemed to be female, but he could not recognize if it was his mothers. 

He did not hear the carriage leave; he wanted to know what was going on. Suddenly, his door opened revealing a saddened Kouyou. 

“What is going on?”

“Kimiko, Kaoru’s wife is here.” Kouyou said with a remorseful face.

Toshiya was speechless, just when everything started to get perfect; well somewhat perfect, that bitch had to come and ruin it all.

“What does she want?” Toshiya snapped, not directing it towards Kouyou.

“She wants Kaoru to go back home, one of their children has come down with Tuberculosis, and he has little time.” Kouyou’s face was just getting more miserable by the minute. 

It may be heartless of Toshiya, but he did not care about that woman or her children. He selfishly wanted Kaoru all to himself, but he knew that it was not possible. Of course Kaoru would go to see his dying child.

Kouyou bowed and then excused himself. At this point Toshiya wished that Kyo had killed him instead of Haukei. Putting a pillow over his head, he turned so his back was facing the door and silently cried.

About a half an hour later, he heard that dreadful knock he had been waiting for. Hearing the door slowly open, more tears fell from his eyes. A sob escaped from his lips involuntarily. 

A hand was placed on his upper back, and then he could not hold it back anymore. The tears were falling freely, he started to heave and choke. 

“I have to go…” Kaoru whispered.

“No.” Toshiya said quietly while shaking his head.

“I am sorry. I will come back.”

“No you will not.” 

“I promise, I will.”

The man kissed him on the cheek, wiping a few tears away before nodding, then leaving out the door. Toshiya became hysterical crying loudly, before sleep finally found him again.

\-----

 

When he awoke it was nightfall. The pain in his behind was still confining him to his bed. His body was sore, his mind scrambled, all he wanted was Kaoru next to him. He heard his door open; his mother came in with worry on her face.

“Toshimasa, one of the servants said you were ill, are you alright?” She said a little quaver in her voice.

He did not answer; last thing he needed now was his mother.

She sat on the edge of the bed taking one of his hands in hers. “You know I am here for you.” She said peacefully.

Toshiya had enough, “Really? Last time I checked you did not give a shit about my well being, you just want me to be someone I do not want to be! I do not want to marry Noriko, I do not want your sympathy, and I do not want anything to do with you!” He screamed.

A little taken back, she moved away slightly but still holding his hand.

“I am sorry, I was just trying to do what was best for you. But obviously I was wrong. It is because…you favor men, right?” Her voice was shaking but she looked calm.

Toshiya’s eyes widened, he had no idea that his mother knew. But maybe the fact that he dressed like a girl could have been a clue, but he always thought she thought he did it to piss her off. 

“I promise not to tell your father, please just talk to me. You are my only son, I want to be close to you.” She pleaded.

“I am in love.” Toshiya sighed, not quite believing he was, he thought love was just a myth.

“With Kaoru-san?” His mother questioned.

He simply nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek. 

“Dear, he is older than me. Surely, you can not love him.” 

“See this is what I mean! That is exactly why I do not talk to you! Since when does age matter! Father is twenty years older than you!” Toshiya whined like a child.

“The fact of the matter is; you are only sixteen! I am old enough you are not. You have had intercourse already, have you not?” His mother’s face showed her worry.

“Yes, and I loved it.” Toshiya spat.

“Well, I think it is best that Kaoru-san does not come back then.”

“Not with him, with servants.” Toshiya was on the verge of killing his mother; trying to threaten him by not having Kaoru in his presence ever again was crossing the line.

His mother was shocked; she was gaping, letting go of his hand only to be flapping her hands around and murmuring words he did not care to hear.

“Get out!” Toshiya yelled piercingly to his mother.

At first she hesitated, but decided to leave her son in peace. She thought he was ill, he wondered what she would say if she found out that he was raped, and the man that had done so was murdered.

He still could not believe what has happened the past month. His life before was fun and careless. All because of Kaoru, his life had turned upside down. Now he did believe in love, because he would not change anything that has happened to him lately just to be with the other man. Not only was his mentor teaching him lessons in manners, he was teaching him lessons in life.


	8. Chapter Eight

A few days had passed, both sleepless nights. Yet another night where he could not sleep, he decided to go for a walk. Now he had mostly healed, just walking with a slight limp.

He walked downstairs heading towards the kitchen. When he arrived he looked at the butcher’s table, bile rising in his throat. He quickly turned away, looking at Kyo.

“I wanted to thank you.” Toshiya said with an unstable voice.

Kyo just kept working, ignoring the younger man completely. 

“I did it for me so I could have my way with him.” Kyo finally said with a smirk.

Toshiya ran out the back door disgusted, his heart beating hard in his chest. He looked in the distance to see the barn and stables. There was a flicker of light coming from the top window of the barn.

He walked to the barn, quietly walking to the top floor. Hunching down below the top step, he saw Kouyou and the Hara family’s money manager, Yuu. They were defiantly engaging in sex. Toshiya’s eyes widened as he saw it was Kouyou thrusting into the older man.

When they finished, Kouyou finally noticed Toshiya hiding on the stairwell. He ran back down the stairs intending to run out the barn. Until a hand grabbed his, he stopped and faced a rather naked Kouyou.

“What are you doing here?” Kouyou whispered slightly out of breath.

“I was going for a walk.” Toshiya stated as Kouyou clung on him, hugging him.

Kouyou was about to reply but closed his mouth, turning around when he heard a creak come from the stairs. Yuu was walking down the stairs, now completely dressed; his looked frightened when he saw Toshiya.

“Toshi-“ 

“Do not worry.” Toshiya cut Yuu off.

Yuu walked out of the barn, then Toshiya realized Kouyou’s naked form was still hugging him.

“He is your lover? Cute.” Toshiya said looking at Kouyou, he now noticed that the other had a busted lip. The other was shivering; Toshiya took off his long coat wrapping it around Kouyou’s body, which was when he noticed all the bruises on the man’s body. 

“What happened?”

Kouyou was silent, eyes downcast to the floor. He was crying on Toshiya’s shoulder. This was a different reaction to just having sex the other should be content. Toshiya took Kouyou back to his bedroom giving him a shirt and pants to sleep in. Toshiya held the other in the bed, they both began to cry, but sleep finally over took the younger man.

\--

 

Toshiya woke up with his head on the blonde man’s chest. He stretched a little, and then looked up to the man who was wide-awake.

“Why did you not wake me up? Toshiya said yawning.

“You looked so peaceful.” The other man said with a shy smile.

He figured the man did not want to talk about Yuu or anything that had happened last night. With a kiss on the cheek, Kouyou left the bed and out the door. He let out a sigh and sat up in bed. He heard the loud steps of a horse approaching the house; he looked out the window to see a man getting off his horse yelling ‘Yoshiki Hara is home!’ 

Toshiya ran to his dresser pulling out all of his dresses throwing them on the floor next to his large chest at the end of his bed. He took the key from the necklace around his neck with shaking hands to unlock the chest. He grabbed royal shirts and pants hurriedly putting them in his dresser. He shoved the dresses into the chest, he ran to his vanity grabbing all his perfume and make up throwing that in the chest as well.

Quickly he stripped himself of the nightgown he was wearing tossing in with the others, along with his female undergarments. He walked to the dresser, pulling up a pair of loose slacks, a white shirt that hung off his arms, and placing a tight corset vest on top. Looking in the mirror he pulled his hair into a ponytail also wiping off whatever remainder of make up on his face. He shut the chest and locked it, just then his father walked into his room. 

“Toshimasa! I hear you have behaved well in the last few months of my absence.” His father complimented at his son.

“Yes father, Kaoru-san is an excellent teacher.” He smiled taking a bow, then he took a look towards his mother who stood behind his father, her face showed worry once again.

“Where is he now? I would like to meet him.” His father asked excitingly. 

“He had to leave urgently to his family.” His mother replied.

“Hopefully, when everything has settled down he will come back.” Yoshiki said walking towards his son giving him a tight hug.

He hugged back uncomfortably, he could never be relaxed around his father; he was not even the same person when he was here. His father ushered away his mother then brought him to sit down at the table and chairs in the corner of the room.

“I have some great news I wish to speak with you.”

“What is it father?” Toshiya said with a fake enthused face.

“While I was away, I spoke with Noriko-san’s parents; we have arranged you two to be married in two months from today.”

Toshiya’s face fell, “Father, I do not want to marry her!”

“I am afraid you do not have a choice, son.” His father’s voice more stern now, he continued. “Also, I will not be leaving any more. I will be staying home from now on.” The smile on his father’s face made him sick to his stomach.

And with that he got up and left his room. Toshiya’s life is over, he had to get away, maybe he could run away with Kouyou to Tokyo, where Kaoru was. Again he was crying it seemed that is all he did these days.

He walked over to his vanity sitting on the stool in front of it. Looking at the reflection in the mirror he shuddered. No way he could live like this, this was not who he was. He touched his powder free face, pale lips, and lifeless hair. The man’s pants feeling rather tight around his privates and uncomfortably trapping his legs, he felt suffocated. Making a fist he slammed into the mirror, it shattered into pieces, which littered on the vanity and floor.


	9. Chapter Nine

Toshiya was going insane; he was currently lying in his bed in a catatonic state. He thought about jumping out his window ending his life, but he wanted to see Kaoru again. A few days ago when his father arrived, he had locked himself in his room; he did not want to see anyone, not even Kouyou.

He thought about confronting his father, wondering what kind of punishment he would receive. His father would probably disown him; kick him out of the house. He stared at his door when he heard it click it opened showing his mother walking in the room slowly. Looking away, he sighed in frustration; he forgot she had a key to his room.

“Toshimasa…”

He looked back to the ceiling ignoring her prescience. The bed dipped down a little signaling his mother was now sitting next to him. She stroked a hand through his loose hair, sighing. 

“It will get better in time, you will see. I did not marry the one I loved, but I learned to love your father dearly.”

“At least you married the sex of your preference.” Toshiya snapped. 

“I believe this is just a phase, soon it will pass.”

“You are pathetic mother, you do not understand anything.” Toshiya now turned his head to glare at her.

“I am tired of your attitude towards me, Toshimasa! Treat me like your mother not a servant!” His mother nearly yelled.

“Do you want me to tell your father what you really are?” She threatened. 

Toshiya was not pleased, he turned his head back to stare at the ceiling once again. He was miserable, but Kaoru promised to come back. That was what keeps him going day to day. It has been several days without him here. How much longer would he be?

He heard his mother voice out a sound of disapproval before heading out of his room.

\--

Another week had passed, Toshiya had done nothing but practically lay in bed the whole time. Kouyou came into his room with a smile on his face, he hopped onto Toshiya’s bed.

“You better get your bum out of bed and get dressed! Then come down to dinner!” The blonde man said colorfully. 

“Why?” Toshiya said in monotone voice.

“Because Kaoru is here.”

With that being said Toshiya jumped out of bed heading towards his dresser. 

“What do I wear, I hate these clothes!” Toshiya said frantically searching through his dresser.

Kouyou looked in the drawers, as Toshiya took of his nightclothes. Kouyou dressed Toshiya in a white tight button up shirt with a black mid length jacket that had a low neck, which revealed Toshiya’s bare chest. Then he put on a pair of exceptionally tight black pants. 

“There, you look sexy!” Kouyou said cheerfully. 

Toshiya took his word for it then headed down to the dining hall.

\--

 

As he walked into the room, he took the seat next to Kaoru’s, which was across from his mother. Kaoru was sitting across from the younger one’s father. His hands were shaking so he hid them underneath the table. The teacher looked at Toshiya up and down, almost as if he did not recognize him.

“Finally Toshiya you are going to eat, instead of being locked up in your room all week.” His father said with a laugh.

“It would be rude not to eat with an honorable guest, father.” He was trying to avoid Kaoru’s gaze, if he looked at him he would not know what he would do.

Their food was now being served; Toshiya ate in silence along with his mother. His father and Kaoru however kept talking to each other through out the whole meal about how wonderful of a job Kaoru did on his son. All he could think about was how close he was to Kaoru and how he was glad his parents did not notice the absence of Haukei.

After dinner, his parents excused themselves to rest; they offered Kaoru to spend the night in the guest room he used before. Not to seem suspicious Toshiya walked to his room as Kouyou helped Kaoru with his luggage up to the guest room. He walked back and forth in his room, debating whether or not to go to Kaoru’s room. Finally he could not take it any more, he ran down the halls to the teacher’s room. He knocked almost gently, the door opened and Kaoru offered him in.

“Are-” Toshiya began to ask how the other man was when the man cut him off.

“Shh.” Kaoru stepped closer to Toshiya cupping his face with his hands. The tension was too much to bear. They closed the space devouring each other’s lips; Kaoru’s tongue was exploring the inside of his mouth. He grabbed the back of his teacher’s head pushing him more into the younger man’s body. While still feverishly kissing each other, Kaoru pushed Toshiya lightly on the bed. 

So they could get some air, Kaoru regretfully took his mouth away and began to lightly kiss down the taller man’s neck. “You are still so beautiful.” He whispered into Toshiya’s ear as he nibbled at it, as if comforting him in his manly appearance.

Toshiya moaned loudly as the other man rubbed their clothed erections together. Kaoru broke away from kissing to unbutton his own shirt, tossing it to the floor. Then he unbuttoned Toshiya’s jacket while running a hand over his smooth chest, causing a shiver of excitement to go through out his body. After that, Kaoru had also stripped him of his shirt.

Kaoru leaned down to kiss him as he undid the younger man’s pants. Toshiya moaned into the kiss as he felt the man above him gently glide a hand on his bare erection. The man began kissing down Toshiya’s body while removing his pants completely. He stopped at the taller man’s member and began to suck it bit by bit. Toshiya cried out in pleasure grabbing the man’s hair urging him to take in more.

Which he gladly complied with, taking in all of his length into his mouth. He slowly started to thrust his hips almost harshly against the man’s face. Toshiya was about to come when Kaoru took his mouth away, earning a cry of protest from the taller one.

But soon enough pleasure hit him again when he felt his teacher’s tongue prodding in his entrance. He felt his ass being grabbed underneath him as Kaoru pushed his tongue in farther hitting his prostate; Toshiya grabbed the sheets next to him moaning.

Taking the hint, Kaoru finally removed his pants and placed himself at Toshiya’s entrance. He pushed in gradually, trying not to hurt the man. But Toshiya could care less, pushing his hips down so that the length had impaled him completely causing them both to moan. His mentor leaned down placing both of his hands beside Toshiya’s face gently kissing him as he started a rhythm. 

Toshiya wrapped his legs around Kaoru’s waist as he hugged the man also. Their pace began to quicken. The room filled with the sounds of pleasure and the creaking of the bed. They sloppily made out grabbing at each other as if they were not close enough, until finally they both reached their climax together. Kaoru collapsed on top of him out of breath.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Toshiya replied honestly.


	10. Chapter Ten

There he lies naked in bed with Kaoru holding him tightly. Last night had been one the best days of his life. He turned around to face the other man with a smile on his face. Kissing him on the lips gently, then he awoke kissing him back. Toshiya felt Kaoru smile against his lips.

They began a nice heated make out session when suddenly the door of the room opened. Quickly they broke apart, Kaoru was putting his pants on but Toshiya just fell to the floor wrapped in sheets.

In the doorway stood none other but his father. Toshiya let out a shriek when he saw the smile on his fathers face be quickly replaced with an angry frown. We were all frozen in place, none of us knew how to react to the situation; but he knew his father would be the first to make a move.

Which he did, he stomped over to Toshiya grabbing a fist full of his hair yanking him off the ground. Toshiya let out a loud cry of pain. His father tightened the grip on his hair as he looked towards Kaoru.

“You leave now and never come back.” He said his voice laced with anger.

Kaoru slowly got his things together and got dressed. He looked towards Toshiya who was visibly shaking and crying with a worried look. He swung his bags on his shoulder walking out the door. Toshiya cried even louder now, calling after the man he loved.

He saw his father make a fist, punching him in the head to make him only see black.

\--

 

When he woke up, he felt the hard cold surface of stone against his body along with dirt clinging to his naked form. It was dark in the room, and the air felt musty. He began panicking when he felt a collar and chain around his neck. His eyes adjusting a little better, he saw more chains scattered around the room, all of them connected to skeleton remains. 

He let out a scream, and another, until he heard footsteps. Walking towards him was his father; he shivered in fear and hurriedly scooted closer to the brick wall.

“I did not want to have to do these, Toshimasa. But you have committed the ultimate sin.” His father said shaking his head.

His father kneeled down to his level, stroking his face sympathetically. “My only son a faggot, having sex with a normal married man.”

Toshiya slapped his hand away, his father was shocked Toshiya took the opportunity to quickly grab the chain around his neck; he placed it around his father’s own neck while straddling him in the process. He tightened the chain around the older man’s neck as his father began to claw at his bare stomach; his father had grown weak now that he was almost sixty.

“I am sick of you telling me what I am when you do not even fucking know me!” Toshiya screamed, still choking the life out of his father. His father’s eyes showed fear and maybe sadness, but it did not stop Toshiya from his death grip as the man under him took his last breath. 

Toshiya released the chains, staring at his hands in shock. He had just killed his father. Shaking, he tried to ignore the fact and began searching through his father’s clothes for the key to the collar on his neck. Finally after a few minutes he succeeded, putting the key in the lock the collar fell from his neck with a loud clank of the stone ground, he stood up on shaky legs then began to drag his father towards the door at the top of the stairs, not knowing yet what he was going to do.

When he opened the door, he was shocked to see he was in the kitchen and Kyo stood there cooking. Kyo looked toward the doorway as he saw Toshiya dragging his dead father with his hand.

Toshiya was about to take a run for it when Kyo spoke up, “You can leave him down there, he can keep Haukei company, and maybe even me.” At that Toshiya dropped the body of his father hearing it tumble back down the stairs and ran upstairs.

As he entered his room he rushed to his chest to get some clothes, women clothes. He did not even realize when he had run into the room that Kouyou was lying on his bed crying.

“Kouyou?”

The said man looked up, jumping off the bed he ran next to Toshiya giving him a suffocating hug.

“Toshiya! I thought your father killed you, after I heard what happened.” Not seeming to notice Toshiya’s naked dirty body.

“Well, he put me in a dungeon which happens to be located underneath the kitchen. Then I…I killed…him.” Toshiya stuttered the last part.

“Good, he deserved it.” Toshiya was taken back but Kouyou’s words, this servant really cared for him. Not a servant but a true friend.

He released him so that Toshiya could get dressed into his causal black dress ignoring the dirt on his body for now. 

“Now what do I do?” Toshiya whispered. “What about mother?”

He did not feel sad at all, he was shaken up but he felt free. Looking towards his friend, he realized yet again his face was battered.

“Kouyou tell me what is happening to you, please.” Toshiya said with a cracked voice.

Kouyou looked away, “You should be more concerned about you, not me.”

“I do not want to think about me right now.” He replied in a worried tone.

They sat at the end of Toshiya’s bed, still waiting to see what would happen next. He looked towards Kouyou who had tears running down his face.

“I lied to you. I do not even have a father.” The other man said quietly then continued on. “Yuu, does this to me. I always thought he loved me in his way, but I think he just likes to use me.” More tears were falling now.

Toshiya embraced him; the two of them had been through a lot, troubled lives. But he knew he was stronger than Kouyou, he had been raped, killed his father, and lived a hidden life. Toshiya could always go on, the thought of Kaoru always keeping a smile on his face even in the worst of conditions.

Kouyou on the other hand was weak, he needed someone to guide him, and obviously he wanted Yuu to help him to do so. The other man was now sobbing quietly on his shoulder. He heard a sound down the hall, as if someone was running. He guessed it was time then.

Within a moment later his mother rushed into his room. He was waiting for her to scold him or rather kill him. 

“Toshimasa! Your father is dead!” She screamed. He thought to himself, ‘I know.’

Kouyou was startled, jumping off the bed wiping the tears off his face, and bowed to Mrs. Hara.

She ignored his friend completely; she came and sat next to him on the bed. “A servant said that he was walking through the hall near the kitchen, then suddenly he collapsed dead right in front of him!” Now she was crying, he was getting real sick of all the tears.

Toshiya could not believe his ears, Kyo had covered for him, or probably for other reasons; he did not want to think about what Kyo would do to his father’s body. He was surprised when his mother said she did not want to see his body, that she wants to keep an image of him alive, and then he sighed in relief, the obvious chain marks on his neck would contradict with Kyo’s story.

“You should be happy that your father died not knowing what you truly are.” His mother said softly, even though he could sense the anger in her voice. He tried hard not to chuckle, that actually his father caught him in the act.

“I must prepare the funeral arrangements.” And with that she left out the door. He looked towards Kouyou who was standing a few away, with a large smile on his face; soon enough one also graced Toshiya’s.


	11. Chapter Eleven

The decision was made, he would move out of this forsaken mansion to look for Kaoru. He went to his mother’s quarters in seek of the man he love’s address. He stepped through the door of her room; she was sitting at her vanity putting on her daily make up.

“What is it, Toshimasa?” She asked rather politely.

“I wish to know where Kaoru resides.” He uttered quickly, wishing for this visit to be over. 

She stopped applying her powder, then looked towards her son. “Why do you wish to know?” She said rather coldly.

“To give him my best regards, also the unfortunate news of my father of course.” He hoped she would buy his lies.

His mother sighed, reaching in the drawer of her vanity she pulled out a small piece of paper, handing it to him. He looked at the letter, it was one that Kaoru originally sent saying that he could help Toshiya, the address labeled on the top.

Toshiya thanked his mother then told her he was leaving to do his duties in person. Of course she had objected but she caved in and accepted his wishes.

Walking out her door, he ran through the halls towards his room. Kouyou was not there as he expected him to be. He wanted to say goodbye to the other man. Clearing his mind for a minute, he walked towards his chest, grabbing a rather large suitcase gently placing his dresses in; he decided to grab some men’s clothes from his dresser also.

He was dressed in an elegant crimson red dress; his hair was curled and lay on his shoulders. He hurried to the door, taking one last look at his room he shut the door and left. 

A servant carried his belongings to the carriage; he told the man he would be a back in a few. Toshiya headed towards the stables, there he found on the top floor a naked Kouyou sleeping soundlessly on a pile of hay. Kneeling by the other man he gently shook him awake.

“Kouyou, I am leaving for Tokyo now.” Toshiya said sadly.

Kouyou looked at him with sleepy eyes that soon became wide at his words. The blonde was urgently gathering his clothes dressing himself.

“I am coming with you.”

“That is not necessary.”

“At least let me see you there, then I will be on my way.” Kouyou pleaded.

Toshiya sighed, and then told the man to meet him at the carriage waiting for them at front of the mansion.

\--

 

The ride to Tokyo was already becoming a long one, Kouyou slept on his shoulder as he was beginning to get more nervous by the hour. He was worried about what Kaoru would think of him just showing up at his door. Also he had never been outside of his home area, he did not know what to expect. For a comfort, he put his arm around Kouyou, which caused the blonde man to shift from his shoulder to his neck. The breath of the other man was ghosting the skin of his neck; it sent a shiver of pleasure through his body.

He lifted Kouyou’s face by his chin giving him a peck on the lips. The other man stirred in his sleep, Toshiya wondered if the man knew how much he loved him. If he did not feel the way he did with Kaoru he would take the blonde for his lover. But life is always too complicated.

A large bump shook the carriage waking Kouyou. The blonde man looked up to him with a smile, he leaned in giving him a kiss on the lips, the smile still on the others lips.

“I am going to miss you.” Kouyou whispered.

Toshiya simply nodded in reply, he was never good with goodbyes. He hoped though this would not be the last time he would see Kouyou.

Kouyou wrapped his arms around his waist giving it a light squeeze. Burying his head into Toshiya’s chest he took a deep breath.

“Maybe we should make the most of this.” Kouyou said shyly.

Toshiya knew exactly what he meant; he smiled at the other signaling that they should. At that the blonde moved on to his lap showering him with kisses along his neck, earning a moan from the black haired man. Another bump on the road cause the carriage to jerk making Kouyou bump his head into Toshiya’s chin, in which he let out a yelp.

They both laughed awkwardly at the interruption but they continued on. Kouyou moved his lips to meet his in a passionate kiss, the blonde man grinding ever so slowly on his now hardened length underneath his dress.

Kouyou unbuttoned the top of his dress so he could kiss all over his chest. Toshiya let his head fall back quietly moaning. His friend moved down to the floor of the carriage lifting up his dress so he could get to his erection. Kouyou took all of his length in his mouth, making Toshiya gasp loudly. Almost to soon, the heat of the other’s mouth left him. The blonde man was now positioning himself on top of Toshiya’s lap. Toshiya looked at him in surprise, he had never had sex this way. Kouyou muttered that this was his first time this way as he impaled himself. 

The pleasure was amazing to Toshiya; he grabbed the other’s hips steadying him, letting Kouyou know to take his time. But the other did not comply; he began to move up and down slowly on his length. At this point Toshiya was pushing down on the other’s hips trying to get inside of him deeper if possible. Kouyou was practically screaming his moans. Toshiya closed his eyes as he was engulfed with pleasure, he could not last any longer. He released his seed into the blonde, which shortly after the man came to his.

Kouyou pulled himself off only to crawl back on to Toshiya’s lap hugging him. Toshiya responded to the embrace holding him tightly. They stayed in that position for hours dozing off to sleep and waking every now and then. When finally the carriage came to a stop. Kouyou looked up to him with a sad smile. Toshiya looked at him, then out the window. There stood a small cottage that was horribly run down, Kaoru’s house.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Giving a kiss goodbye to Kouyou he walked out of the carriage. He waved at the carriage as it slowly began to move away. Looking back towards the house, he quivered. He hoped that Kaoru would not turn him away. Walking towards the door, he stood there for a few moments. Finally, he decided to knock gently on the door. Not getting an answer he knocked a little bit harder.

The door opened, Kaoru was standing there with a tear stained face.

“Umm…Hello.” Toshiya said awkwardly.

“Toshiya, what are you doing here?” The other man almost sounded panicked.

“Well, my father…died. My mother hates me, and plus you never finished giving me my lessons.” He showed the elder a weak smile.

“Toshiya…” Kaoru looked lost for words. Suddenly Toshiya thought coming here was an idiotic idea.

“I am sorry, I will take my leave.” Toshiya took a bow then turned away walking back to the road hoping for some way to get back home as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Toshiya, wait!” Kaoru called after him, causing him to turn back around.

“Please. Come in.”

 

\--

 

Toshiya silently sat at the small dinning table as he ate the horrible rations. Kaoru sat next to him, as well did his son, Die, Kaoru’s wife, Kimiko sitting across from him. It was rather awkward as Kaoru’s family indeed thought he was female. 

“I am sorry for your loss, that is horrible.” Kimiko said, but Toshiya could sense something in her voice that she really did not care, after all she just suffered one of her own.

“Thank you.” He said quietly using his female voice.

He noticed that Die was rather quiet; the boy was probably sixteen like himself. He had short brown hair, his face showed nothing but sadness.

Kimiko gathered our plates when we were all finished. As she grabbed Kaoru’s she gave him a kiss on the lips. Toshiya had to stop the bile coming up his throat.

As she walked into the kitchen Die left the table, Kaoru noticed Toshiya’s look of disgust making him frown.

“I am sorry but is it alright that you sleep in the living area on the sofa?” Kaoru said, ignoring the looks for a moment.

“It is fine.” Toshiya said trying to smile.

“Do not be ridiculous Kaoru! She can sleep in Ryo’s old bed.” Kimiko suddenly butted in.

“But…” Kaoru started.

“I will show you the way, Toshiya-san.” Kimiko interrupted her husband.

Toshiya looked briefly at Kaoru then followed his wife. He found him in a small room, which only consisted of a small twin sized bed. He watched as Kimiko put fresh sheets on the bed along with a large wool blanket. 

“Thank you, Kimiko-san.” He bowed. She did the same having a smile on her face before leaving the room.

Toshiya plopped onto the bed with a sigh. This was going to be a hard stay at this house, trapped with the man he loved, which he could not touch, with his son and wife.

\--

 

Toshiya woke up just lying in bed. He did not feel like getting out, the past few days were catching up with him, he felt exhausted. A knock at the door disturbed him, but lazily he got off the bed and opened the door.

“Good morning, Toshiya. I wanted to let you know that breakfast is ready!” Kimiko said with enthusiasm. He took the time to look at her; she had long brown straight hair down to her back, innocent eyes, and a round face. She was actually beautiful, it made Toshiya’s heart hurt.

“Oh, thank you, I will be right there.” He replied with a fake smile.

She shut the door leaving Toshiya alone in the small room. He walked towards his suitcase in the corner, grabbing his favorite sapphire colored dress. He put it on then walked out of the small room.

He sat at the small table once again, shoving down the poor grade food. Kaoru was not at the table, Toshiya looked around the room, still no Kaoru. It was just he and Kimiko.

“Kaoru had to go teach a lesson today, he will be back before noon.” Kimiko said flashing another beautiful smile.

Toshiya nodded, eating the rest of his food. He offered to do the dishes to the woman.

“Do not be silly, you are my guest!” Her eccentric personality coming out was again, he did not know if it was real or something she just did from the sudden loss of her child.

After she washed the dishes she came to sit with him in the living area.

“Has Kaoru taught you well?” She said with yet another smile on her face.

“Yes, he has been very helpful.” In more ways than you know.

“I am glad to hear that! I know it was probably difficult growing up in your house, your parents never being around and all.” She said with a sad smile.

“I actually preferred it, I am not awfully close with my mother, and was not actually close with my father as well.” Toshiya said.

“I am sorry to hear that. Well if you do not mind, I have to attend to some chores, make your self at home!” She said with a chipper voice then left the room.

He waited in the living area for Kaoru’s arrival. Finally around noon, Kaoru came through the door. Toshiya had a smile on his face as he saw the other man but it soon disappeared as his lover kissed his wife, who had greeted him at the door like any good wife.

Toshiya was really beginning to hate it here. He wanted to massacre that woman, he hated her, but in all reality he only hated her for the simple fact that she had Kaoru, plus bared his children.

The thoughts made Toshiya hate himself even more; he wished he could simply be a woman. Kaoru walked towards him with a smile, Toshiya did his best to return one as well, but he knew he failed.

“Well, since you have never been in public really, how about a lesson in that?” Kaoru said so cheerfully. But how could Toshiya be cheerful, shoving his feelings aside he only nodded.

“The number one thing while in public is to never stare at the people around you. This is considered extremely rude.”

Toshiya just simply nodded again.

“Secondly, if you meet someone, use –san at the end of their name to be polite.” Kaoru continued on.

Toshiya was hardly listening as Kaoru continued on; he was evaluating his current situation. Kimiko came to bring them tea; Kaoru thanked her, Toshiya looked at the way he was looking at her. Kaoru loved her, he could tell, Toshiya was becoming more depressed by the minute. 

“Understand?” Kaoru’s words brought him out of his thoughts. Again he just nodded in reply.

“Are you alright?” Kaoru said worried while sipping his tea.

“I am fine.” Toshiya said putting on a false smile not even touching the tea in front of him.

Kaoru lowered his voice, “No you are not.”

“What does it matter?” Toshiya hissed unintentionally. 

“Toshiya please…” Kaoru said sorrowfully.

“I can not do this.” Toshiya rose abruptly running to the room he was staying in.

A moment later, Kaoru came into the room; Toshiya was standing next to the bed. Swiftly, Kaoru took Toshiya’s lips in a passionate kiss. But Toshiya forced himself away.

“Do not kiss me after her!” He angrily whispered.

Kaoru grabbed his arm tracing it up to his face, cupping his cheek. 

“Toshiya, you know I love you, please stop.” Kaoru pleaded.

The only thing Toshiya could do was cry. He came here to be with Kaoru but now he knew that was not possible, unless of course Kimiko was dead. But he was not about to kill Kaoru’s wife, the mother of his children, or rather child.

“How do you expect me to live like this? Knowing you are with her and I am here alone.” Toshiya was trying to cry quietly.

“You know I love you.”

“You keep saying that! But I know you love her too!” He almost shouted but not loud enough for Kimiko to hear.

“I love her but not like that. I love you I swear, you are my life.” Kaoru now had visible tears in his eyes.

“How could this ever work Kaoru?” Toshiya choked out.

“I have no clue, but I do not want to lose you.” Kaoru said seriously, the look in his eyes gave comfort into Toshiya’s heart.

“How about tomorrow I will take you to see the city, just you and me.” Kaoru said suddenly having a smile on his face.

Toshiya only could nod also smiling as the other man kissed him once again. It became reality to Toshiya that he would only have Kaoru in secrecy.


	13. Halloween Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short !

Toshiya was walking down the streets of Tokyo holding hands with Kaoru. He was dressed in a blue long sleeved dress, with a lace trim. His dress showed the richness within it, his hair long with beautiful black curls. Kaoru was simply wearing brown pants with a white shirt, the two of them walking looked as if a servant was escorting a princess.

A man jumped out in front of them with a ridiculous mask on, all brown with only holes to see out of and a hole for the mouth, startling Toshiya who let out a scream. The masked man soon moved on, Kaoru laughed at Toshiya.

“What was that?” Toshiya screeched.

“It is Halloween, you know.” The elder said with a laugh.

“Halloween?” Toshiya had no idea what the man was talking about.

“A holiday basically just to scare or be scared, dress up, and basically party.” Kaoru said with a smile.

“Well I do not like it at all.” Toshiya said acting childish.

Kaoru only laughed again, “Do not worry, you are technically already dressed up.”

Toshiya pouted taking Kaoru’s hand wrapping it around his waist so he could get closer to the man. The air was very chilly, so he simply was seeking heat from his lover.

They sat at a bench near the walkway into the park. Many people littered the streets laughing, happy. Toshiya looked over to Kaoru, who was intently staring at him. 

“What?” Toshiya asked, wondering why the other man was staring at him.

Kaoru pecked him on the lips, “Happy Halloween.”

Toshiya just laughed not really understanding the holiday. He looked behind him towards the park noticing a large willow tree in the middle, the branches hanging low to the ground.

“That tree is spooky.” Toshiya suddenly said.

Kaoru looked towards the willow, nodding in reply. “Do you want to go sit by it, to end our Halloween night?”

“I suppose, since I have you to protect me.” Toshiya smiled.

Getting off the bench they headed towards the lonely tree. They sat down right in front of the trunk. The branches shielded them from the outside world.

“You know what could end this night even better.” Toshiya showed his lustful smile.

“The only thing could top off a night for you is sex.” Kaoru stated.

“How dare you perceive me that way, Kaoru!” Slapping the other man playfully on the shoulder.

“You think I do not know you, Toshiya?” Kaoru was smiling trying hold a laugh.

Toshiya laughed while nodding still having a large smile on his face. Kaoru grabbed him pulling him on the elder’s lap. Toshiya’s laugh turned into a fit of giggles, he was so incredibly happy at this moment. He bent down to capture Kaoru’s lips with his. This begun a fiery make out session between the two. They grabbed at each other’s bodies wanting more.

“Here in public, now.” Toshiya demanded.

Kaoru did not argue as he began undoing his pants just enough for his erect member to poke through. Toshiya was a little bit nervous as he had never done this before, plus he only had sex with Kaoru once.

Toshiya took his lover’s member into his hand tenderly stroking it. He watched as Kaoru bit his lip to keep his moan quiet. He felt Kaoru lifting his knees up, Toshiya took the opportunity to lean back slightly as he worked at the other man’s cock. 

Now fully erect, Toshiya took the liberty to spit in his hand sliding over his lover’s erect member. Carefully he placed his entrance at the tip of his cock. Slowly he pushed down feeling the man impale him completely. 

“Oh, god Kaoru.” Toshiya panted, feeling more confident being verbal during their sex.

“Unh, Totchi.” The younger man picked up his pace as heard the man he loved moaning the new given nickname for him.

It was feeling really good for Toshiya but he wanted to try something different, he suddenly stopped which made Kaoru frown.

“I want to try this.” Toshiya said slightly out of breath.

He pulled himself off of Kaoru then placed himself on his hands on knees right next to the elder man.

“You have no idea how unbelievably fuckable you look right now.” Kaoru said with a look of excitement. 

Toshiya only smiled as he felt Kaoru shift behind him lifting up his dress then thrusting into him. Toshiya moaned loudly at the new angle, not caring if the people passing by heard him. Kaoru was not to quiet himself as he continued to pound into the younger man.

The new position sent them both over the edge quickly, spilling their seed simultaneously. 

As Kaoru slipped out of him he could feel the semen flow out of him down his thigh, it made him feel more complete.

“I love you so much.” Toshiya said the truest smile plastered on his face.

“You know, I love you so much.” With that Kaoru kissed him sensually.

“Happy Halloween.” The younger one said breaking away from the kiss.

And with that Kaoru sat back against the trunk of the tree pulling Toshiya on his lap holding him snugly enjoying the rest of the night they had together, alone.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

The walk back to Kaoru’s home was something he became to dread. He wanted to stay by the tree as Kaoru held him, just the two of them. As they approached Kaoru’s neighborhood he felt the other man drop his hand from his. The elder showed him an apologetic look.

Toshiya accepted the gesture with a heavy heart. A few meters later they were at his door. Kaoru gave him a small kiss on the lips before opening the door. They walked into the house shedding off their coats. The only source of light was a small gas lantern placed on the living area. Kimiko and Die were obviously already in bed.

“Good night, Toshiya.” Kaoru said while heading to his and Kimiko’s bedroom.

“Night.” Toshiya walked into his room sitting on the bed, he searched through his suitcase for a nightgown. Putting one on he lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Tonight was an amazing night, being out with Kaoru made him forget about their current situation. But now that he was back here he could not help but feel lonely.

That night sleep never fully took over him, he tossed and turned through out the night. When the sun finally raised his eyes were wide-open, sweat coating his body. He could hear Kimiko and Kaoru talking in the living area, the fact made him pull the covers over his head.

A knock at the door made Toshiya throw off the covers in a little tantrum. Groggily he got off the bed opening the door.

“I have prepared a bath for you.” Kaoru said averting his eyes, as if he wished he could join him in the bath.

“Thank you.” Toshiya bowed then gathered a clean dress heading towards the bathroom. It was small like all the other rooms in the house. The wood floor felt rough against his bare feet. He discarded his nightgown then slowly placed himself into the hot water.

Suddenly the door to the bathroom opened causing a little jump from Toshiya. He was expecting Kaoru by instinct but of course it was no other than Kimiko, seeing her made him cover himself instantly, even his chest where he was supposed to have a bosom. 

“I am sorry to disturb you but I forgot to place a towel in here for you.” She bowed, then placing a towel at the end of the tub.

“Thank you.” He simply nodded, she walked out after another bow. Toshiya sighed in relief letting go of his body.

He hurriedly washed the remainder of his body, and then got out of the tub drying himself off. He put on his simple white dress then headed out the door.

Kaoru walked towards him with a sly smile. “Are you ready, I want to take you to the city again.”

Toshiya nodded, he wondered where Kaoru would take him this early in the morning. He watched as he gave his wife a kiss goodbye, and waved to his son Die, the two were both in the kitchen eating breakfast. Toshiya politely bowed to them both before heading out the door with the other man.

As they started to walk down the pathway, Kaoru brought out a pipe lighting the tobacco within with a match. 

“You smoke?” Toshiya was amazed; he had know idea the other man had done so.

“Occasionally, to ease the stress.” Kaoru simply said taking a puff.

“Give me some of that.” Without even earning a reply from Kaoru he took the pipe from the other man, inhaling a large amount of smoke, which caused Toshiya to cough violently.

Taking the pipe back Kaoru laughed at the sight. “Take it easy there.”

“That stuff is horrible!” Toshiya screeched still coughing.

Kaoru was still laughing as they continued on their route to the city. After awhile, Toshiya already felt exhausted, not being used to so much walking, he wished they could just call a carriage. 

They arrived at a small pub, Toshiya looked towards Kaoru questionably. The older man just smiled taking Toshiya’s hand walking him in.

It was a rather small pub, just a bar with a few tables scattered around what was left of the room. They sat at a small table of two in the back corner; it was then he noticed a small stage across from them in the other corner.

Kaoru ordered their simple breakfast to the waiter, and then looked back towards Toshiya.

“There is a band that plays here, with some beautiful music. Plus the food is amazing too.” Kaoru was beaming.

Toshiya nodded in acknowledgment. He was a little taken back when Kaoru took his hand holding it gently.

Within moments a delicious smelling meal was placed in front of them, reluctantly they let go of each other’s hands to eat. 

As they ate their breakfast, a band of four men took the small stage. One playing the piano, a violinist, one with a cello and the last one had a small drum set. They all started playing a piece, which was beautiful to Toshiya’s ears. He was in such a trance that whatever was left of his food was soon forgotten.

The wonderful music playing, the fire raging next to them, the great food, and Kaoru sitting in front of him. All of it was so romantic; he looked at Kaoru with an honest smile.

After the meal, Kaoru took him to an old inn, he stared at him with a confused look but let the older man take him to a room. The room was dingy, dark and small but for once he did not mind. He took Toshiya’s hand leading him to the bed. They lay down together, Kaoru instantly wrapping his arms around Toshiya as he hugged his slender back.

Toshiya sighed contently, as he wished they could lie like this forever. The man behind him placed a hand gently over his clothed stomach. It sent a few shiver’s down the younger one’s spine. The hand soon found it’s way up his chest rubbing through the fabric sensually.

He turned around to face Kaoru, putting his hand immediately down the older man’s pants, stroking his member with slow movements. Kaoru let out an audible moan looking at Toshiya as he reached behind him untying the back of his dress. For a moment he felt Kaoru’s cold hands on his bare back. He felt as the man soothingly took the dress off his shoulders. The action caused a sound of pleasure from Toshiya. Soon enough his dress was completely removed, he continued to stroke Kaoru’s cock with his hand still underneath his pants.

Feeling alone, being the only one naked, he removed his hand from Kaoru’s erect member to withdraw the elder man’s shirt then pants and underwear. Now both completely naked, Toshiya lay on his side to grind against Kaoru. Both of their erections rubbing against each other sent a sensation of pleasure for them both, which caused moans from both of the men.

Still rubbing their erections together, Kaoru placed three fingers in the younger one’s mouth, which he willingly sucked on until they were completely wet. Those fingers left his mouth to be soon replaced into his entrance. Causing a whimper from Toshiya, he felt Kaoru scissor him with the three fingers.

The digits soon left him but were quickly replaced with the elder man’s erect penis. Once again feeling this man inside of him, made Toshiya feel whole his eyes rolling into his head. Sex with Kaoru was better than with anyone else he had sex with. They were facing each other on their sides; Kaoru lifted Toshiya’s leg on top of his shoulder to get better access. The shift in position caused the other man to hit his sensitive spot more easily, as he buried himself deeper into his heated cavern.

Toshiya did not move at all as he simply left his leg on his lover’s shoulder, letting him do all the work. A few more thrusts, sent him over the edge, he came hard onto Kaoru’s stomach and also on the sheets under them. The action had clenched his inner walls around the other’s member, which indeed make the elder man come inside of him.

After a few moments of recovery, Kaoru pulled out of Toshiya letting his leg fall back to the bed. He hugged the older man tightly not wanting to let go. He felt Kaoru kiss the top of his head; he was about to doze off until he felt Kaoru nudging him telling him they had to go. Go back home to Kaoru’s family of course, it made Toshiya sigh but reluctantly he got up putting back on his dress.

 

\-----


	15. Chapter Fourteen

A postman came by to drop off a letter for Toshiya. Opening the envelope, he read that his father’s funeral was being held in exactly a week. Letting out a sigh he looked towards Kaoru.

“A carriage is coming to pick me up today so I can go back home for father’s funeral.” Toshiya said sadly.

“I should come also, to give my regards to your mother.” Kaoru said, which put a little hope in the younger one’s heart.

Toshiya went back to the room packing his things as he finished the carriage was out front. Kaoru stood by the door with a small suitcase in hand, guessing that he had already said goodbye to his family they headed to the carriage, Kaoru placed his hand out to help Toshiya into their ride.

As they sat there Toshiya was reminded of the last time he was in here with Kouyou. A smile formed on his lips wishing he could do the same with Kaoru. But Kaoru was back to his normal serious mood. The older man was sitting next to him looking out the window.

He placed his hand on top of Kaoru’s giving it a small squeeze. He noticed the older man did not even reply to the touch. The other man seemed lost in thoughts. This worried Toshiya, he wanted to know what the other man was thinking.

“Kaoru, what is wrong?” Toshiya said worriedly.

“Just thinking.”

“I can see that, about what?” Toshiya pressed.

“I do not think…that we can do this.” Kaoru’s voice was low.

Toshiya had a tear slip from his eye; he knew that it would eventually come to this. He took his hand away from the other man.

He saw the older man flinch when he took his hand away. Toshiya was confused, the time he had spent with the other the past week he could hardly keep his hands off of him. Now he wanted nothing to do with him.

“Then why did you start this?” Toshiya shouted.

“I should have not done this to you.” Kaoru replied with remorse.

“Nice answer asshole!” Toshiya was still shouting crossing his arms on his chest.

“Toshiya please! I love you, but seriously there is no way this could work out and you know that!” Kaoru shouted back.

“If you truly loved me this would work out!”

“Toshiya do not be ridiculous!”

“Ridiculous? You are the one being so ridiculous!” 

Kaoru kept silent for a while before he spoke up again. “I can not just leave my family, for you.” The last two words were just a whisper.

Toshiya was furious now; he balled his hands into fists by his sides. “And why not?” He let out with a shaking voice.

“Because it is not right.”

“Here you go again saying what is right. Who gave you the fucking power to decide?”

“God says it is not right.”

“God! Oh really?” Toshiya said with a laugh his mind now losing control.

“Tell me, what did god think about you fucking me?” Toshiya added.

“Toshiya please stop. It is for the best of us, now you can happily be with Kouyou.” 

“Kouyou? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You do not think I would notice when you came to my home that you had just laid with him?” Kaoru was jealous of his friend.

“Oh you have no right to even mention that!” Toshiya was sobbing and screaming at the same time. 

“I figured you only loved me, but it is painfully obvious now.”

“Shut the fuck up! Who I fuck is my business; I still love you, only you! And you, you fuck Kimiko whenever you please, so shut the fuck up!” His throat was becoming sore from all of his screaming, he took a deep breath trying to calm himself. 

“I am just trying to be normal.” Kaoru whispered.

“What the fuck is normal? What people want you to be? Be yourself for once!”

“I am truly sorry, but I have to end this now.”  
Toshiya looked away from the other man, he felt as though he would vomit. So many hidden emotions were coming out and he had no idea how to handle them. He decided that he needed to get some things off his chest, keep his mind off the break up.

“I killed him.” Toshiya said slowly keeping his gaze away from his lover.

“I know.” It was a simple reply that escaped Kaoru’s lips. Toshiya turned to him looking dumbfounded.

“I figured you would end up the one dead, but you proved me wrong.” Kaoru said with a sad smile.

Toshiya just stared at the other man as he continued.

“When I left that day, I thought I would never see you again. The days that followed not only was I crying from the lost of my child, but for you.” At that moment he looked into Toshiya’s eyes. 

“He chained me…to a wall…in a dark room…full of dirt…” Toshiya suddenly became sobbing uncontrollably.

Kaoru just continued his gaze on him, listening intently. 

“I do not know what came over me, I just grabbed the chain from my neck and choked him.” Letting out another sob. “When he was dead I felt as if a burden was removed from my conscious, not having to deal with him again. It is so horrible, a son killing his father. You lost a child by illness, and I killed my father by choice.” Toshiya was staring blankly at nothing as his mind was fogged.

He felt Kaoru gently place a hand on his upper back in some sort of comfort. Toshiya flinched away from the touch.

“Do not touch me!” Toshiya was screaming again. “You are ending this, the only thing I have to look forward in life, and it is you…being with you!”

Kaoru grabbed Toshiya’s chin rather harshly, looking him in the eyes.

“I would love to be with you but I can not.” At the end of his words Kaoru adverted his gaze.

Toshiya let the other hold his chin; they looked into each other’s eyes. Then Toshiya realized that after the funeral he would not see Kaoru again.

Kaoru wrapped an arm around him pulling Toshiya closer. The younger man placed his head onto the other’s chest. Together they began to doze off for the remainder of the ride.

~---

 

Toshiya went straight to his room then plopping on the bed. It was a few hours from dawn, he had slept in the carriage and now sleep would not come again.

His door opened, he did not see who it was until the bed dipped down and he looked up.

“Kouyou.” He said with a caring smile.

“I missed you.” The blonde man said as he pecked Toshiya on the lips.

“I know, me also.”

“How was your time with Kaoru?” 

“Great.” Toshiya said spacing out.

“And?”

“And he is leaving after the funeral and not coming back.”

“I am sorry.” Kouyou hugged him while laying down with Toshiya.

“Tomorrow is going to be a dreadful day.” Toshiya whispered.


	16. Final Chapter

After two hours of cuddling Kouyou left Toshiya’s room before his mother came in. About an hour later his mother came in telling him to get ready for the funeral.

He got off the bed walking to his dresser he put on a loose black dress, the fabric falling off his shoulders. He met up with everyone downstairs, they began walking into the yard, and farther back than the stables was a family graveyard.

Finally they reached their destination; Toshiya saw the wood box placed next to the six-foot deep hole with a priest standing near by. The priest began the service; he looked towards his mother who was crying hysterically then over to Kaoru who avoided his gaze. The whole funeral he did not shed one tear, he was done with crying.

He watched as two servants picked up the coffin and placing it into the hole. As they started to pile pounds of dirt into the hole, Toshiya turned to leave heading back to the mansion.

As he reached the stables he saw Kouyou; the other man smiled at him, he only smiled back and continued walking to his home.

He went straight to Kaoru’s guest room waiting for his arrival. He lay on the small bed on his back. He pushed his dress up to his thighs just as Kaoru walked in.

“One more time for me?” Toshiya pleaded stroking his exposed thighs.

Kaoru said nothing as walked to the bed he crawled up so that he could lie between Toshiya’s legs. He placed a kiss on the younger’s forehead, before kissing him passionately. They slid their tongues against each other’s. Kaoru pressed his groin into Toshiya’s, a moan coming from the both.

Toshiya undid Kaoru’s pants slipping his dick out. Wasting no time Kaoru slicked his member with his own saliva before penetrating Toshiya slowly. Their pace kept slow wanting to enjoy every moment of their last time.

Kaoru kissed along Toshiya’s shoulders and neck that were exposed. Still thrusting leisurely in and out of Toshiya, they were reaching their peak. As they both came, they caught their breaths for a moment, before Kaoru starting thrusting into Toshiya again.

“Never forget how much I love you.” Toshiya whispered, grabbing Kaoru’s shoulders tighter.

“Never.” Kaoru panted, giving a quick thrust into his lover, moaning.

That night they had both came six times, making love all night.

~-----

 

He awoke an hour before dawn; he simply lay there with a smile on his face as he felt the man behind him. Toshiya felt like he was high on life and happiness, last night had been perfect.

Kaoru’s arm was wrapped around him; Toshiya squeezed the arm around him with his hands. He wished he could lie like this forever. For the next hour he laid in the embrace wide awake, enjoying every minute.

When dawn finally came, Kaoru stirred waking up. The man behind him pushed up on his elbow to look at Toshiya, and then gave him a small kiss on the lips.

“Thank you for the time you have given me.” Toshiya said with a smile on his face even though he was silently crying.

“You do not have to thank me, but I am so sorry…” 

“I will be fine. You should get ready to take your leave.” Toshiya rose off the bed finding his dress that was discarded last night putting it on.

“Goodbye Kaoru.” Toshiya flashed the other man one of his beautiful smiles.

“Goodbye Totchi.” Now Kaoru was crying.

Toshiya nodded then head out the door heading to his room. He went to his dresser putting on a white spring dress; it stopped right above his knees showing off his long legs. Despite the cold weather outside, he did not seem to care. 

As he walked out of his room Kouyou was standing there. Toshiya smiled giving the blonde man a tight hug.

“Are you going to be okay?” Kouyou asked worriedly. 

“Yes, you do not have to worry about me, really.” 

“Okay, are you coming to breakfast, Kaoru is going to attend.”

“No, I have something to do, I already said goodbye.” Toshiya smiled then left Kouyou walking the large staircase that was in the center of the mansion.

He walked up the stairs that turned into a metal spiral staircase, the stairs cold on Toshiya’s bare feet. They lead to his father’s study, it was the tallest part of the mansion it was in it’s own tower.

When he reached the door, he noticed it was locked. He banged his body into the door a few times before finally it gave in. The room was rather large; four giant windows were along the walls.

There was a large desk in the middle with papers scattered all over it. He walked towards the desk picking up one of the papers. He skimmed through the document then dropped it when he realized it was a contract to kill. His father was a hit man?

He took a deep breath then looked out the window behind his father’s desk. Looking down you could see the garden. Toshiya opened the large window breathing the fresh air. He smiled, and then he stepped on the ledge outside and turned around. Closing his eyes for a moment still smiling, he fell back. 

 

~---

 

Kaoru had just finished his breakfast; he walked out of the dinning room to find Kouyou. “Goodbye Kouyou take good care of Toshiya for me.”

“I will.” Kouyou nodded towards the older man.

He nodded back then grabbed his suitcase. The carriage was waiting for him. As he was approaching his ride, he looked back towards the mansion; he wondered why Toshiya did not bid him farewell again.

He tried to stop his tears while the servant grabbed his luggage to put into the carriage. Kaoru was about to get in when he heard an earsplitting scream. Quickly he ran to the back of the mansion where the garden was. There he saw Kouyou screaming and crying kneeling near a patch of white carnations. 

The closer Kaoru got the more he saw Toshiya lying there. He fell to his knees next to Toshiya, Kouyou got up calling for help running towards the house. Toshiya was on his back, his right hand on his hip, his left hand next to his head, both of his legs straight out and his eyes wide open. Kaoru saw as the beautiful white dress Toshiya was wearing slowly turning crimson from blood.

Kaoru choked a sob he did this to Toshiya. He had never felt so horrible in his life, this was worse then when Miyabi had died. He had caused Toshiya to commit suicide. Kaoru took Toshiya into his arms cradling him to his chest, crying and shouting out to the world.


End file.
